Asshole! (ISTP related)

ISTPs are people who can actually can be helped, unlike many of the ‘hollow’ (ISTJs, ENFJs, ENTJs, ESFJs), or ‘disturbed’ (ISFJ, INTP, ENTJ, ESTP) personalities. They can be helped by taking a motherfucking chill pill. An ISTP is unpredictable in the worst of ways – one second they might be slouching around doing absolutely nothing, and in the next they will be all up in your face screaming and flailing. They don’t care about their own or others’ safety, they rarely check facts, and they often endanger others with their shenanigans. Imagine them as ticking bombs.

A relationship with an ISTP is exhausting. If they do not get what they want they will act like a child and you will be thoroughly embarrassed because these grown-up babies will sulk or throw fits, just like non-grown up babies. Though perhaps it’s an unfair comparison. I mean, babies can be adorable and stuff. ISTPs can’t.

The animal that is linked to the ISTP personality is the tamagotchi. What do you mean, ‘not a real animal’? Screw you.

ESTP

ESTPs are like ISTPs in that they sometimes turn into wailing mockeries of adult people. But ESTPs do not do it because the screams echo in the hollowness of their soul and they can pretend that the abyss is responding to them, no – the ESTPs do it because they think it’s fun. It’s what they live for. They’ll carry a gun into a bank just because it’s fun to scare the poor innocents, they’ll stand by the roadside and flash motorcyclists so they can watch them crash, nothing is out of limits for an ESTP.

They are usually dumb as rocks. Which is good, because the ESTPs with brains are really fucking scary. The ESTP animal is the raccoon. Which may seem cute or fun to you unless you’ve met one.

madhatter wrote:When it comes to descriptions like this, I can never tell if they are joking or not.

Duck_of_Death wrote:
Satire is truth in the guise of comedy.