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ISTJ hate thread

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DJ Arendee
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Post by spiralshank Mon Apr 01, 2013 10:16 am

Anybody find SiTe to be totally abrasive?

Me too.

Even worse ..... TeSi!

I can not stand it. Makes me want to claw at my own face.

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Post by madhatter Mon Apr 01, 2013 10:45 am

Depends on the person, and the context of the situation.

ISTJs don't tend to bother me. In fact, I usually get along quite well with ISTJs. With ESTJs, it's more hit-or-miss. There was one ESTJ I worked with that I couldn't stand, but another with whom I got along extremely well, however to be perfectly honest, I suspect that co-worker was ENTJ rather than ESTJ. An ESTJ high school friend, I have to take in small doses, and often tell to his face that he's an asshole.
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Post by Erbse Mon Apr 01, 2013 12:00 pm

spiralshank wrote:Anybody find SiTe to be totally abrasive?

Me too.

Even worse ..... TeSi!

I can not stand it. Makes me want to claw at my own face.

Going by that your problem seems to lie with Te rather than Si.

I concur, to an extend. elephant
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Post by spiralshank Mon Apr 01, 2013 1:21 pm

Erbse wrote:

Going by that your problem seems to lie with Te rather than Si.

I concur, to an extend. elephant

Not exactly. I have a friend who is INTJ. This isn't a testscore thing it's a cognitive typing (executed by me), based on my knowledge of the subject matter, and confirmed repeatedly (by me Embarassed ) based on information provided in Auburn's video typing.

I firmly believe that he should be the leader of our group (the three of us: INTJ, ISTP, INTP), and I am generally appreciative of his Te use. He certainly is effective at bringing the INTP back to reality, and he displays a certain reverence and respect for my command of the physical world.

Te, isolated, is not the problem. Si, isolated, also not a problem. There's times when I question my preference for Se (already discussed in my other thread), although those times are dwindling.

Te, validated and reinforced by Si, is a SERIOUS problem. Probably because my mother is ESTJ and I can not stand how she constantly picks fights with me. She is constantly laying the "rules of life" out on the table (not just to me, but to everyone) and will not accept any sort of thinking or behaviour that does not fall-in-line with her suppositions.

I just quit a(nother) job, this time the boss was ISTJ. Let's just say I WARNED him that I find it intensely disrespectful to have somebody constantly comparing my output at work with his own inner value system, simply opting to force his methods on me "because he can". To me, this epitomizes SJ (Te, Si) behaviour, and it's repulsive! He crawled so far up my ass that he actually wound up following me around and nitpicking every little thing, then he'll turn around and say something like "I appreciate the fact that you are independent". WHAT?

Suffice to say after he started telling me I was framing a wall incorrectly (the ULTIMATE nitpicking; any framer can testify) I was done. He looked at a window I was putting together and was like "wtf is this!?" my response: "If you can't tell from looking at it then I can't help you", to which he replies: "well it looks fucking ass-backwards you're putting every piece in the wrong order, I don't want you to
build like this any more"
. Then it all snapped together, bang bang bang, and I was like, "so tell me again, what was the problem here?!"

The problem, simply put, is that I was not building exactly the same way that he likes to build.

Basically, the problem I have with these types is they can not accept any forms of individualism. They would rather erase everything you've ever learned because they think if they "could just reprogram you to do things the right way", then "everything would be okay in the world".

Apparently the firey looks of rage and hatred that must have been spewing out of my eyes at that point weren't enough.


ISTJ hate thread Icon_sunny TL;DR summary

ISTJ sucks balls

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Post by Siren Mon Apr 01, 2013 3:25 pm

I have 2 close ISTJ girlfriends and I can't imagine they would ever do that to me. I can see them doing it to their husbands, though.
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Post by mcgooglian Mon Apr 01, 2013 5:03 pm

My ESTJ step-mom does the exact same thing as the other ESTJ. Her favorite line is "The social reality is..." when often times, there is nothing social about it and it's not even true.
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Post by carok Tue Apr 02, 2013 1:33 am

An ISTJ once told me that critical thoughts about others are continually running through his head and he holds most of it in because he knows it would be inappropriate/overkill to spill it.

My ISTJ Dad wasn't in the best place emotionally when I was a kid. I could never get a nod of approval from him. When I was 3 years old, I came in the house crying after falling and scraping my knee. He told me "Stop crying, you gotta take it like a man." At the age of 6, about my report card, I remember him shaking his head and telling me: "As and Bs aren't good enough. You have to get all As!" :p

What I like about ISTPs is that by nature, you all have a cheerful disposition, are good-natured, and easy to be around. SPs in general tend to overlook other people's flaws and be forgiving of mistakes.
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Post by spiralshank Tue Apr 02, 2013 8:52 am

Quite a large gap between ENTJ and ESTJ, that is FOR SURE. Not so with IxTP types apparently. (in accordance with my theory that TeSi and SiTe sucks balls). I do know that some INTPs possess a certain infatuation with ENTJs.

Regarding critical thoughts: absolutely! This ISTJ boss I had was exactly the same way. He would turn to me sometimes (when we were still on good terms), and just openly criticize anybody and everybody around him.

It wouldn't matter; his wife, his other employees, the crew on the next job over, drivers on the road ... didn't matter. He felt best about himself when he could cut other people down.

Then he would be as silent as an acorn when there was more than 1 person around. I found this to be equally inappropriate. I do have an appreciation for silence, but there's times when it is called for and there are times when it is not. This man seemed to take pleasure from withholding things from people when it was appropriate to share them. This was an attempt (at best) to let things boil over so he could have an excuse to snap later on. <<<for a while it had me second guessing whether he was really a Te user, until I discovered coaxing Te-driven instructions out of him was actually beneficial for both parties.

The biggest thing I hate about society are manipulators, and STJs (as if they're really not the same thing).

What I like about ISTPs is that by nature, you all have a cheerful
disposition, are good-natured, and easy to be around. SPs in general
tend to overlook other people's flaws and be forgiving of mistakes.

I find I am "sort of" like this, but not really. I am certainly willing to be patient and overlook people's flaws, to the extent that they do not effect me. (uh oh maybe "affect" was appropriate there affraid) As soon as somebody starts encroaching, that's it. The line is drawn, the wall is up. Respect, freedom, individuality, and personal space must all be provided as a condition of "good natured-ness".

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Post by carok Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:06 am

Your boss sounds like a work place bully. Reputation smearing and withholding info that others need to do their job falls within the definition of a hostile work environment. This sort of thing kills company morale and hurts productivity. He wasn't being an efficient ISTJ at all.

And about the the 'effect me vs affect me', lol, yea that would be it. I think you're just standing your ground in those particular instances tho, it doesn't play out as an ongoing character trait. Smile
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Post by DJ Arendee Wed Apr 03, 2013 10:22 am

carok wrote:An ISTJ once told me that critical thoughts about others are continually running through his head and he holds most of it in because he knows it would be inappropriate/overkill to spill it.

My ISTJ Dad wasn't in the best place emotionally when I was a kid. I could never get a nod of approval from him. When I was 3 years old, I came in the house crying after falling and scraping my knee. He told me "Stop crying, you gotta take it like a man." At the age of 6, about my report card, I remember him shaking his head and telling me: "As and Bs aren't good enough. You have to get all As!" :p

What I like about ISTPs is that by nature, you all have a cheerful disposition, are good-natured, and easy to be around. SPs in general tend to overlook other people's flaws and be forgiving of mistakes.

damn right gurl.

life's about being happy, not that other shit.
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Post by Khys Wed Apr 03, 2013 10:47 am

i don't get along with ESTJs. I do get along with ISTJs. It's strange.
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Post by spiralshank Thu Apr 04, 2013 6:51 am

Hmmmm,

After reviewing the discussion in my hate thread, and pondering the whole experience, I've decided to give ISTJs another try.

The thing is, I only know of one ISTJ ...
Come to think of it, I only know of one ESTJ.

I might know more but I haven't bothered to type them.

Here I go again judging a whole group of people with hate when I only have reason to hate one member of their group.


That being said, I do believe the problem lies in the Si/Te combo. Now I am prejudiced.

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Post by Duck_of_Death Thu Apr 04, 2013 2:34 pm

carok wrote:What I like about ISTPs is that by nature, you all have a cheerful disposition, are good-natured, and easy to be around. SPs in general tend to overlook other people's flaws and be forgiving of mistakes.

All of us, my black ass.
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Post by DJ Arendee Tue Apr 09, 2013 3:32 pm

carok wrote:An ISTJ once told me that critical thoughts about others are continually running through his head and he holds most of it in because he knows it would be inappropriate/overkill to spill it.

My ISTJ Dad wasn't in the best place emotionally when I was a kid. I could never get a nod of approval from him. When I was 3 years old, I came in the house crying after falling and scraping my knee. He told me "Stop crying, you gotta take it like a man." At the age of 6, about my report card, I remember him shaking his head and telling me: "As and Bs aren't good enough. You have to get all As!" :p

What I like about ISTPs is that by nature, you all have a cheerful disposition, are good-natured, and easy to be around. SPs in general tend to overlook other people's flaws and be forgiving of mistakes.

Interesting. I'm the same way actually. Being "warm and accepting" of others actually does more harm than good in my life, so I've learned to be more judgemental and limit my life only to people who I think will enhance it.
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Post by carok Sat Apr 13, 2013 11:50 pm

Professionally speaking, where would ISTPs choose to let an ISTJ into their lives? Could you work with one as your Primary Care Doc? Specialist? Your kid's pediatrician? How about an ISTJ therapist?

Would you hire an ISTJ lawyer? As your kid's teacher, tutor, camp counselor? A real Estate Agent selling you a house? If you owned a business, would you hire one? Home repair, car repair? Barber/hairstylist?

And the stereotypical ISTJ careers: Accountant/tax preparer or librarian? Very Happy

Edit: spelling






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Post by ohtochooseaname Sun Apr 14, 2013 4:40 am

I actually have an ISTJ program manager, who I love working with. Basically, they are very good at keeping everyone focused on the project priorities. Basically, when you share goals with one, it can work out quite well, and I appreciate the engineer wrangling he does.
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Post by Siren Sun Apr 14, 2013 12:33 pm

That must be an S thing - I'm a PM and I could spend hours discussing what 'could be' and need my ISTP PM counterpart to make sure the actual work gets done first. He's good about letting me go off about it afterwards, though.
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Post by Ghost Mon Nov 23, 2015 10:33 pm

I know a couple ISTJs. My only complaint is that they tend to be a tad… stick in the muds. By the books to a fault. It's ok I guess, but feels a mite constraining.

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Post by Khys Tue Nov 24, 2015 2:40 pm

I realized my horrible ex from college was an ISTJ yesterday
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Post by Duck_of_Death Wed Nov 25, 2015 1:47 am

I worked for one for about a year. He was shit.
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